Two Thoughts on Miscarriage & Pregnancy Loss - Fertility Tips with Hannah
Reflections and encouragement for those of you who are grieving a loss.
Last month, I decided to get vulnerable. In case you missed it, I opened up about our miscarriage on the Baby Dust Fertility Podcast and shared some of the things I wish I’d known when we were going through it.
Today doubles as our wedding anniversary and the anniversary of discovering that we were expecting our rainbow baby. So, it feels doubly fitting to be talking about this now.
It’s crazy to think that almost seven years have passed since that time. In the moment, the loss felt so life-altering—everything stopped. It’s all I could think about for weeks on end and it felt like that was going to be the new normal.
But over the years, I’ve learned that time does help to heal and things do change. Things like…
I don’t think about our loss every day
I’m not constantly reminded of the loss when I open social media
I don’t grieve when I see that others are expecting or having babies around our due date.
After hearing so much feedback from the episode (thank you to those of you who reached out), I wanted to share two more thoughts that I didn’t dive into during the show. Two, big things that I don’t think get talked about enough…
It’s normal to feel anxious when you get another positive pregnancy test. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who went through a loss and didn’t feel a little unsure going into another pregnancy. Our loss, as I shared in the podcast, happened at 9 weeks - though baby stopped developing much earlier. One of the most comforting things we did while expecting our rainbow baby was to do an early ultrasound, see the heartbeat, and take home some pictures. It didn’t erase all of the anxiety, but that little glimpse helped.
Words cannot fully encompass the gratitude and joy when you do meet your rainbow baby. Of course, there’s always joy with a new baby, but there’s something different experienced after going through a loss - regardless of how far along you were. It’s like an extra dose of gratitude to have experienced pregnancy all the way through and now have a sweet little one to show for it.
Pregnancy loss is a hard and deeply personal thing to go through. We don’t generally share a lot of the things that go on in our lives, but decided to do a commemorative post after our miscarriage and the response was overwhelming. Family and friends came out of the woodwork to share about their own experiences and I was truly shocked at how many in my own community had been there.
It’s honestly why I chose to be transparent in this episode. More on that in the linked Instagram post below. (Click below to read all of the slides.)
We’re planning to host a special show where we anonymously share thoughts from our community. If you’ve been through a loss, I invite you to share a thought for this special show. Simply comment on this post, reply to the email, or message me on Instagram and answer this question: What would you say to someone who is going through a loss?
Hannah Bowers is an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, Certified Lactation Counselor, host of the Baby Dust Fertility Podcast, and writer who is passionate about supporting women from preconception and infertility through postpartum.
